Santa Sightings. (17)

 "It was I who shot Santa," says Bounty Hunter Howling Mad Murdock, "But I did not shoot the reindeers, they were already dead when I got there."

"Santa may have been the greatest escape artist in the world but he can't escape death,"  says the NPPD spokesperson. "We are happy to see that the world's enemy #1 is gone and dealt with. He will no longer harm any animals, kids or people."

Santa Sightings. (16)

Santa is now wanted world wide and the criminal charges are stacking up. Break in and entry, armed robbery, sexual harassment, attempted murder, spreading classified information and co-working with Julian Assange, spreading bad checks, statutory rape, driving with a suspended license, wearing white after labour day, animal cruelty, defying the laws of physics and bribing Dick Cheney. Unconfirmed rumours also links Mr Santa Claus to Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden.
"Santa is public enemy #1" says a source within the Pentagon. "He has to be stopped at all costs or life as we know it on earth will be gone within a year."

Santa Sightings. (15)

Christmas.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Santa twitters from his secret hangout. 

"The bitch took all I own in the divorce so I can only afford one present and I'm giving it to myself."

Merry Christmas to you all!

Santa Sightings. (14)

1 day until Christmas.

Santa escaped as he was left alone in the court bathroom.

"We feel kinda stupid now," says an anonymous source within the NPPD. 

"We know that Mr Claus is an expert escape artist and 

we still made the mistake of leaving him alone and without handcuffs. 

We fell for his charm and promises about filled stockings."

Santa Sightings. (13)

2 days until Christmas.

A spokesman for the NPPD releases a statement:

We apprehended Mr Claus as he tried to hire a hit man using the money from the bank robbery. 

We can also confirm that Mrs Santa was the target and that 

we have moved her and the elves to a safe location.

Santa Sightings. (12)

3 days until Christmas.

Santa is caught on tape as he robs a bank.
"He acted like a mad man," says an eye witness, "He had to be high on drugs."

"My 3 year old had brought his piggy bank to put money on his account for the first time," says Sandy Hill with tears in her eyes. "Santa smashed the piggy bank and took the money.
How do I explain this to my son? Santa is Evil!"

Santa Sightings. (11)

4 days until Christmas.

Santa's healing his broken heart with one of his good friends.
The bar keeper identifies the hot blonde as "one of the Baywatch actresses",
while a customer says that the woman is Miss December 2008.

Santa Sightings. (10)

5 Days until Christmas.

A paparazzi spotted Santa with this woman in a vacation paradise. 

Mrs Claus has filed for divorce stating: "Enough is enough. I'm tired of his partying 

and all the women he has on the side. I want half of all and I'm taking the house and the yacht."

Mr Santa Claus said; "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

Santa Sightings. (9)

6 days until Christmas.

Santa joins online dating sites looking for "discrete fun"

and he promises that distance is not a problem since he don't mind travelling.

Santa Sightings. (8)

7 days until Christmas.

Santa's bail was paid by this unidentified woman.
"I'm innocent," says Santa in an exclusive interview. "I will have my day in court and
the world will see that I have not committed the crimes I am accused of."

Santa Sightings. (7)

8 days until Christmas.

Santa's arrested after a short car chase. In addition to his indecent exposure charge he now faces charges for motor vehicle theft, reckless driving, driving under the influence, evading police and speeding.

Santa Sightings. (6)

9 days until Christmas.

Santa's partying again.
"It was just some good old fun," he tells the reporter. "It's a bet and I had to show that I had the balls to do it. No harm done, just a good laugh, that's all."

Santa Sightings. (5)

10 days until Christmas.

Santa's pissed because he got a ticket for being double parked 

while he partied and hung out with his good friends.
"Don't they know who I am?" He rages. "I'm Santa! They can't do this to me!
There will be nothing by coal in their stockings this year, that's for sure."

Santa Sightings. (4)

11 days until Christmas.

A week of nonstop partying has taken its toll on Santa and he passed out before he got to the down town strip club The Bouncing Bunny.
"No worries," says the owner Dick Long. "Santa's one of our regulars and we'll be waiting for him with his favourite girls Cookie and Candy when he wakes up."

Santa Sightings. (3)

12 days until Chrsitmas.

Santa's chillin' with a good friend.

Santa Sightings. (2)

13 days until Christmas.

Santa is still partying.
"It's hard work to keep this Santa belly in shape," he laughs an pats his big belly. "You have no idea how many beers I have to drink each day to keep it fit." 

Santa Sightings. (1)

Two weeks until Christmas.

Santa's warming up for Christmas by partying with his friends.
"This is the best time to relax," he says, "I have to be fully rested so that I can
do all that hard work during Christmas."