Grooming

Child grooming on the internets is one of many things that makes me furious, and now it has happened to my beloved niece. Her "loving" parents dumped it all in my lap knowing very well that I have other issues in my life that needs my attention, such as my husband balancing between life and death. This is about a little girl and I've made the time to follow up on what happened and document it all, though I feel it's something that her parents should do. They didn't call me for days and when they did, they never asked about what I had found or not. Shocked I brought the topic up and their interest was non existing. What the fuck is wrong with some people?! I've spent hour up on hour tracking the bastard who hurt their daughter, making time for it, sacrificing sleep and so on, and they don't even care enough to ask what I found. Fuckers! 

I have the bastards name, number and address. I have documentation about how he groomed the little girl from 3 different accounts as well as over the phone by sms/mms. What I don't have is the actual photos that he managed to threaten her into sending him once he had her on the hook, but I have a clear idea of what they looked like since he comments on them and what they lack when trying to force her to send him more "better" pictures. I also know where they met in person and I know of witnesses of the event, luckily my niece had the sense to meet at a public place and not alone somewhere.

I called her parents and told them that I had found a lot, not telling what exactly since I wanted to see how interested they would be. Their response was, OK. Nothing more. Then the conversation turned to other things.

I never thought I'd do this but... I've contacted the Child Protective Services and I've told them what has happened to the little girl and about her parents total lack of interest in it.

Fuckers!

#1 I hate pedos. There is no excuse, nothing that makes it somehow understandable and I think they should all be rounded up and killed.
#2 I hate parents that don't teach their kids about the dangers of the internets, how to stay safe and monitor what they do when they use the computer. It's so fucking easy to teach a kid about things like this that there is no excuse for not doing it.
#3 I hate parents who teach their kids that they cannot trust adults around them and turn to them when they are in trouble. You're idiots, I know, but don't teach your kids that all adults are like you because we are not!
#4 I so fucking hate parents that don't care enough about their own kids to even try to sort out what kind of trouble they are in. "Oh, my daughter has been forced to send nude photos of her self on the internets. I better throw this problem on someone else so that I don't have to care about my own child." Fuckers!
#5 I hate and double hate parents that have the ability to keep their kids safe but don't do that because they are lazy ass self centred dullard shitheads that find it too hard to get up from their fat arses and take a few steps to see how their kids are doing.

Pedos are sick fuckers that deserves a slow and tormenting death but parents like that deserves the same fucking punishment for not keeping their own child, their own flesh and blood safe because it would take them a couple of extra minutes together with the child. If people like that can't be executed then they should all be castrated, especially the suka who gave birth to the poor girl so that she doesn't keep on breeding.

Making it through one more day...

They say that my husband is doing better, but they don't say if he's safe now or if he still might die.

Sometimes I wonder...

... how much I can take before I crack and fall to pieces. My husband has now been rushed to the hospital and his condition is critical. We thought that he was getting somewhat better and now this...

And so it happens...

He's gone. One out of the 3 that I feared would die checked out yesterday. He seemed to be doing better, the doctors were happy with his progress, he went to take a shower before he was checked out of the hospital and he never got out of it. I'll go to spend time with my family and prepare for the funeral and I'm feeling mixed about it, it's so much easier to deal with it when you are far away from it.

A sentimental trip down memory lane:

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:+:   :+:      :+:    :+:    :+: :+:    :+: 
+:+  +:+       +:+    +:+        +:+        
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Kiss- Hotter than Hell 1974. Song; Strange ways.

I bought this LP 3 times and  got it 2 more times as gifts because we were wearing it out. I had the best record player among my friends (as well as the most tolerant parents) and I was dragging it along to almost every party we had. ... nah, I ain't no fool, I still know I was popular because I was an easy lay not because of my record player and my big stack of LP's. =)

Black Stone Cherry - Lonly Train

Lynyrd Skynyrd is great but these guys are better.

How to keep an idiot busy...

... at least for a while. <<< It's a link follow it dumbass. 

Suicide Solution

Great but often misunderstood song, mainly because people don't bother to listen to the lyrics. Suicide solution is about basically drinking yourself to death, the "solution" being the liquid/drink not "solution" as in the answer to the problem.

Wine is fine but whiskey's quicker
Suicide is slow with liquor
Take a bottle, drown your sorrows
Then it floods away tomorrow's

Evil thoughts and evil doings
Cold, alone you hang in ruins
Thought that you'd escape the Reaper
You can't escape the Master Keeper

'Cause you feel life's unreal and you're living a lie
Such a shame who's to blame and you're wondering why
Then you ask from your cask is there life after birth
What you sow can mean Hell on this earth
Hell on this earth

How some idiot can get those lyrics to mean that suicide solves the problem... I don't know. It's actually incomprehensible. That's probably why the parents back in the 80's claimed "subliminal stimuli" instead, they knew they had nothing to point to so they turned to Voodoo as an explanation. Dimwits.

The topic of drawing the line between a self abusive lifestyle and suicide is interesting to me. Suicide is seen by most of the society as unacceptable but the line blurs as we move out to risky behaviour that will lead to the persons death in one way or the other if it's not stopped. A depressed person who can't stand the pain of life and wants to die has to be stopped, a person who kill the pain of living by drinking too much needs to take responsibility for their life, "get a grip" and move on with it or people might not even see anything wrong with the drinking, it's just a "few" drinks after all.

"Suicide is slow with liquor." I guess that's why drinking yourself to death is acceptable and even seen as "cool", it's not a sudden death. You're not there one day and gone the next, your misery drags on for years and years if you're unlucky.

Being reckless with your life might get you a comment or two about how you should be more careful, but no one will sit you down and talk to you about not committing suicide and taking meds or going to therapy.  

Turboneger (aka Turbonegro) - Fuck the World

Hey now, hang on
while I fuck the world
gimme just a minute
while I fuck the world

Diabulimia.

I've never lied to a doctor, at least not when I've gone there willingly to get help. To lie to a doctor when you are seeking help is a waste of time and money as well as plain stupid. I didn't want help when I was younger, I just wanted to do my thing but things changed when I had kids and I've been seeking help since then, to no avail. The doctors simply don't understand that it's not just as simple as not doing it. I've been laughed at and even ridiculed for knowing that I have a problem but being unable to deal with it and stop on  my own. Not once have I been offered help or even a little bit of understanding because I simply don't fit the idea that they have of how a person with an eating disorder look and act. Diabulimia is not a recognized diagnosis, you have to have either anorexia or bulimia or you don't have a problem.

I know very well that it's the stress that I've been under lately that's making me crack. I'm on the juice again, I'm depressed and my self image is totally screwed up again, ergo; I've cut back on my insulin. I've bought new clothes and shoes, I've fixed my hair and bought even more makeup and I've exercised far more than I usually do but I'm still seeing a fat ugly bitch when I look in the mirror. I want those extra pounds gone. I don't think it will make me happier or that my life will suddenly change for the better once I've lost them, but I want them gone and I'm dramatically cutting back on my insulin again so that I can get there.

It's phucked up but it's life and it doesn't get any better than this.

Pick me up music:

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Lyrics: Not Fragile

Comin' to you across country
Hoping boogies still allowed
You ask do we play heavy music
Well are thunderheads just another cloud, we do
Not Fragile, straight at you

Then we vanish to the night
Still in your ears but out of sight
Not Fragile

Don't think we feel hurt or wounded
Or our egos are showing thru
It's our world that's been disrupted
And our strength reflects from you
Well its true
Not Fragile, over you

Try us when you're getting down
Feelin' high or just hangin' round
Not Fragile

The times we travel in our lives
Will make us hard and give us drive
We may seem distant most of the time
But many thoughts are still on our minds
Not Fragile

The pain of living is driving me insane right now.

I can see my husband's health deteriorating day to day now. It's as if he's falling apart before my eyes and thee is nothing I can do about it other than make sure he takes his medications. The doctors have told us that all we can do is "wait and see" and I'm hating it. It would feel so much better if they lied about it and pretended to at least try to do something to help him. This is not what I signed up for when I got married. We're supposed to grow old together and live "freakily ever after".