Santa Sightings. (17)

 "It was I who shot Santa," says Bounty Hunter Howling Mad Murdock, "But I did not shoot the reindeers, they were already dead when I got there."

"Santa may have been the greatest escape artist in the world but he can't escape death,"  says the NPPD spokesperson. "We are happy to see that the world's enemy #1 is gone and dealt with. He will no longer harm any animals, kids or people."

Santa Sightings. (16)

Santa is now wanted world wide and the criminal charges are stacking up. Break in and entry, armed robbery, sexual harassment, attempted murder, spreading classified information and co-working with Julian Assange, spreading bad checks, statutory rape, driving with a suspended license, wearing white after labour day, animal cruelty, defying the laws of physics and bribing Dick Cheney. Unconfirmed rumours also links Mr Santa Claus to Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden.
"Santa is public enemy #1" says a source within the Pentagon. "He has to be stopped at all costs or life as we know it on earth will be gone within a year."

Santa Sightings. (15)

Christmas.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Santa twitters from his secret hangout. 

"The bitch took all I own in the divorce so I can only afford one present and I'm giving it to myself."

Merry Christmas to you all!

T-Shirt

The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, meant to prevent unwarranted search and seizure, is readable on TSA body scanners.

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

Metallic Ink.

 (Land of the Free by David Vincent Wolf)

Happy Fucking Friday!

Santa Sightings. (14)

1 day until Christmas.

Santa escaped as he was left alone in the court bathroom.

"We feel kinda stupid now," says an anonymous source within the NPPD. 

"We know that Mr Claus is an expert escape artist and 

we still made the mistake of leaving him alone and without handcuffs. 

We fell for his charm and promises about filled stockings."

That's what friends are for...

Santa Sightings. (13)

2 days until Christmas.

A spokesman for the NPPD releases a statement:

We apprehended Mr Claus as he tried to hire a hit man using the money from the bank robbery. 

We can also confirm that Mrs Santa was the target and that 

we have moved her and the elves to a safe location.

You know it's a myth!

Santa Sightings. (12)

3 days until Christmas.

Santa is caught on tape as he robs a bank.
"He acted like a mad man," says an eye witness, "He had to be high on drugs."

"My 3 year old had brought his piggy bank to put money on his account for the first time," says Sandy Hill with tears in her eyes. "Santa smashed the piggy bank and took the money.
How do I explain this to my son? Santa is Evil!"

Crossroads

(Moonrise at the Crossroads by Jude Cowell)

This day has always marked the "emotional" new year to me. This is the darkest day of the year and tomorrow the day will be longer and there will be more light. The light refuels me and gives me a well needed spark and I'm always looking forward to this day because of that. I know that the extra daylight will not be noticeable for a while, but emotionally I can already feel the sunshine on my face.

Santa Sightings. (11)

4 days until Christmas.

Santa's healing his broken heart with one of his good friends.
The bar keeper identifies the hot blonde as "one of the Baywatch actresses",
while a customer says that the woman is Miss December 2008.

Tomorrow there will be Winter Solstice, full moon and total lunar eclipse.

The last time the two happened at the same time was in 1554, according to NASA. Kinda cool but the local weather will be cloudy so I won't get to see it. =/

(Source)

Santa Sightings. (10)

5 Days until Christmas.

A paparazzi spotted Santa with this woman in a vacation paradise. 

Mrs Claus has filed for divorce stating: "Enough is enough. I'm tired of his partying 

and all the women he has on the side. I want half of all and I'm taking the house and the yacht."

Mr Santa Claus said; "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

Let Sleeping Dragons Lay

(Let Sleeping Dragons Lay by Briar)

Really. If they are sleeping, then let 'em be. *nods*

Santa Sightings. (9)

6 days until Christmas.

Santa joins online dating sites looking for "discrete fun"

and he promises that distance is not a problem since he don't mind travelling.

The main difference between Europe and USA...

Santa Sightings. (8)

7 days until Christmas.

Santa's bail was paid by this unidentified woman.
"I'm innocent," says Santa in an exclusive interview. "I will have my day in court and
the world will see that I have not committed the crimes I am accused of."

I've been doin g this the wrong way...

 The answer does not lay in a proper diet or having the right skin care products. The answer is of course to live the rest of my life online and use photoshop. =/

Santa Sightings. (7)

8 days until Christmas.

Santa's arrested after a short car chase. In addition to his indecent exposure charge he now faces charges for motor vehicle theft, reckless driving, driving under the influence, evading police and speeding.

Barack Obama vs. Julian Assange

Santa Sightings. (6)

9 days until Christmas.

Santa's partying again.
"It was just some good old fun," he tells the reporter. "It's a bet and I had to show that I had the balls to do it. No harm done, just a good laugh, that's all."

Santa Sightings. (5)

10 days until Christmas.

Santa's pissed because he got a ticket for being double parked 

while he partied and hung out with his good friends.
"Don't they know who I am?" He rages. "I'm Santa! They can't do this to me!
There will be nothing by coal in their stockings this year, that's for sure."

Homer Simpson look alike.

Homer Simpson Quotes:

• “Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”
• "You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons."
• "Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman."

  

Johnny Depp is one of my favourite actors.

Actually... when I think of it he's the only actor I really like.

I found the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides and once again I hold my breath and hope for it to be something else than another money maker. That's, sadly how the story often goes. The first movie is popular, the second too and then they squeeze all the money they can get out of it by putting out sequel after sequel. I don't think that Johnny Depp would sell out, he's far better than that but I'm still worried since this is Pirates of the Caribbean #4 after all.

Santa Sightings. (4)

11 days until Christmas.

A week of nonstop partying has taken its toll on Santa and he passed out before he got to the down town strip club The Bouncing Bunny.
"No worries," says the owner Dick Long. "Santa's one of our regulars and we'll be waiting for him with his favourite girls Cookie and Candy when he wakes up."

Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck!!!

I'm so not diggin' this. =(
I was doing fine and I had a great time playing "Doom Blade" a fan made Dungeon Master game and then ... there be dragons... lots of dragons.

This is actually one of the fan made Dungeon Master games that I have enjoyed to play the most, but I'm deadly allergic to dragons. Progress is painfully slow right now and I feel like giving up now and then. The problem is that I'm slow and I can't speed things up, the dragons are probably not a problem for those who have the ability to move around in a more normal pace.

Santa Sightings. (3)

12 days until Chrsitmas.

Santa's chillin' with a good friend.

Seems as if he'll be home before New Years after all.

(L'amour de pierrot. French postcard from 1905)

I haven't met my husband for over a month, but things seems to be changing now. The doctors have started to talk about moving him to the hospital in our home town and that means that he will be home soon. The hospital here never keeps the patients for any longer periods of time. There is a risk that they are sending him home too soon, but I still hope that this is the end of it all. He has survived and now I want to plan our future life.

Santa Sightings. (2)

13 days until Christmas.

Santa is still partying.
"It's hard work to keep this Santa belly in shape," he laughs an pats his big belly. "You have no idea how many beers I have to drink each day to keep it fit." 

Lost in translation.

1. Go to Google Translate.
2. English to French.
3. Type in "Take a dirty picture for me".
4. Copy the reversed (French) text and reverse the language to French to English, paste the text into the box.
5. Look at the result.

Santa Sightings. (1)

Two weeks until Christmas.

Santa's warming up for Christmas by partying with his friends.
"This is the best time to relax," he says, "I have to be fully rested so that I can
do all that hard work during Christmas."

Quotes

“The problem with quotations that you see on the Internet is that it is difficult to discern if they are genuine.”
- Abraham Lincoln.

It's that time of the year again...

It's that time of the year again, the stores and the commercials are selling stuff that people don't need (or want) through the image of the happy and perfect idea of Christmas. Lets all be happy and jolly and spend, spend, spend our money!

A local study shows that 29% of the people asked didn't look forward to Christmas. 27% don't like the stress that surround Christmas and gift shopping. 10% is s tressed because they know that they will not have the "perfect" Christmas and 15% is stressed because they know that they can't afford Christmas. 50% don't remember who gave them what for Christmas last year and 15% don't remember what they got at all.

 No one forces people to celebrate Christmas, but it is really hard to stand up against the expectations that people around you have. Many will sigh and agree that it's pointless spending of money and that it would be better to put the money on other things, but in their next breath they say something like; "But you will exchange presents with X and/or Y won't you?" If you opt out on exchanging presents then people will look at you as if you are abnormal and then they will feel awkward around you because they decide that you are very poor and can't afford presents.

How much you spend during Christmas has somehow become a measurement on how much you are worth as a person. How much you spend on presents shows how generous and moral you are. How much you spend on decorations and food shows how successful you are as a person.

It's all BS of course.

The most disheartening part of it all is of course that the fairytale "good guy", Santa Claus, is spread as a reality. Santa don't care about all children in the world even though that's the claim. Santa discriminates against children of other religions and cultures, he also discriminates against poor kids and "he" gives the most to kids that have rich parents that already give their kids plenty. Is that really the kind of "role model" that people in this globalized world of today need? A hero that discriminates openly and is still worshipped to the point that people spend billions on him each year.

Oh... it's all about baby Jesus...? Who could have thought that ... The Jesus that was born in the spring (or possibly the fall), the Jesus who was a strict and practising Jew and wanted his followers to be the same? That Jesus? Can't be. The followers of Jesus Christ should be celebrating Hanukkah, if anything, because that was what he wanted.

How about the real Santa then? Saint Nicholas. He gave his gifts to charity. He didn't give to friends and family or his coworkers, he gave to save three girls from prostitution/slavery. A group of nuns carried on his idea by putting food in stockings and leaving it at the doors of poor families centuries later, they gave to those who needed it the most. Nothing in their actions says; "Buy stuff that you can't afford and give it to people that really don't need it".

The "Christmas Spirit" spells; consumerism, selfishness and greed. During the holiday the domestic abuse rates spikes and children of alcoholics truly finds out what the "spirit" is while poor families have their faces rubbed in the fact that they are poor and "outside" of the happy Christmas bubble.

Neurotic

(Neurotic Indisposition by `alexiuss)

I haven't been alone a whole night for over 20 years and the occasions when I was totally alone was rare before that too. I've always had other people near by, family, friends, roommates and so on but now I've been alone again and it's the strangest feeling. I tried to tell myself that it's no big deal, it's just me and an empty house but the whole deal still got to me. I had to check that all windows and doors were locked, several times, I heard strange sounds in the night and I couldn't sleep because I saw shadows moving in the bedroom. I was just a smidgen away from screaming in full panic and going absolutely bonkers. 

I miss my husband so much it hurts and I try to see the good things, such as him still being alive and possibly being able to come home for the holidays.