Neurotic

(Neurotic Indisposition by `alexiuss)

I haven't been alone a whole night for over 20 years and the occasions when I was totally alone was rare before that too. I've always had other people near by, family, friends, roommates and so on but now I've been alone again and it's the strangest feeling. I tried to tell myself that it's no big deal, it's just me and an empty house but the whole deal still got to me. I had to check that all windows and doors were locked, several times, I heard strange sounds in the night and I couldn't sleep because I saw shadows moving in the bedroom. I was just a smidgen away from screaming in full panic and going absolutely bonkers. 

I miss my husband so much it hurts and I try to see the good things, such as him still being alive and possibly being able to come home for the holidays.